


New Everything

by withinmelove



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alien Character(s), Alien Cultural Differences, Aliens, F/M, Fluff, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7252624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinmelove/pseuds/withinmelove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alien!Reader is new to Earth and your sister Ishna is helping you learn the ropes of seduction. Brendon is a shameless flirt and perfect target.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Shamelessly this is largely taken off of P!ATD's "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time" music video. When I first saw it I couldn't believe how perfectly it was set up for a Reader piece! 
> 
> Please do check it out it's hilarious! https://youtu.be/H5NqIsnyTG8

It's the warmth of sunshine on your face that wakes you. You squint, this human body is quite sensitive to minimal changes, struggling to keep up with the welter of information your senses are assaulted with. So many tiny details like the sunshine that stabs at your fragile retinas, the coolness of the sheets, a scent of lightning lingering, along with the faint sound of creaking that is coming from somewhere in the walls. 

However, nothing interests you right now so much as your new form. Last night had given you no chance to inspect the body you were to take on. By the time your craft had touched down and you were reunited with Ishna the hunger had taken over all thoughts. What an unfortunately narrow thought process your true species had you realized. It is no wonder Ishna refused to return home after she had found this place called Earth. 

Eyes adjusted to the light you stretch joints popping marveling at the hue of the skin upon this human body. A bit of a disappointment there is so little variety but upon looking closer you must admit the veins running underneath are pretty. However, it is your hands that are fascinating! You touch each fingertip to your thumb shocked at the dexterity. Why your true form is a clumsy oaf in comparison to this! But these two tiny hands cannot grab any sort of substantial amount. It’s a wonder they can get anything done. 

“y/n,” You look over to Ishna, your sister, wearing a smile as she watches you from the doorway. “How do you feel?” You sit up and what a sense of loss to have only these two arms and legs. 

“Odd. Will this go away?” Ishna nods, a relief to hear. You do not yet have the skill to transform back into your original form. It seems upon donning this human the knowledge has slipped away. 

\--

It is two weeks before Ishna deems you even suitably ready to mingle at length amongst other humans. No picnic of leisure she spends every moment working to assimilate you into your new home. Earth with its overwhelming sprawl of humanity is dizzying but you love every minute of it. Ishna had promised a feast and what truth she spoke! She had even said their rates were growing at such a fast pace they would soon overpopulate. You are amazed at the fortune she has stumbled upon in this blue ball of a planet. 

\--

Tonight is finally the night you and Ishna are going out! 

The white crystals Ishna gives you has your nerves buzz, a shark grin to your mouth. Ishna’s raised eyebrows (what a marvelous trick) makes you shake your head before offering another smile. She nods to signal your teeth are normal again. At once you offer the mirror a smile as well and are pleased how pretty it makes you look. Something about the movement of muscles in the face make it so much more pleasant to look at. The dress - a form fitting number - is a lovely emphasis of what you’ve got. 

“y/n please.” Ishna reprimands and you turn back to face her admiring once again the unique grey coloring to her eyes. All natural she had proudly informed you when asked. 

“Sorry, it is still hard to get used to seeing this body in the mirror. I can’t believe how many ways there are to dress up!” Ishna smiles, remembering the excitement of first settling into human skin.

“You’ll find that there are more styles to dress up in then you’ll know what to do with.” Here she returns to the business of applying powders and creams to your face. Highlighting your features as she calls it. 

“Be careful when one of the humans offer to buy you a drink y/n. After three or four, you’ll need to mimic their drunken behavior,” Here, Ishna pauses in order to finish the black makeup around your eyes, “Otherwise you’ll seem too hard to ‘bring home’ for them.” You furrow your brows, reaching up to touch the creases made in the skin. Ishna clicks her tongue struggling to help you make sense of the colloquialism. 

“Humans are tactile creatures. They want to bring home someone to touch them all over.” You nod in agreement. 

“I need to seem touchable.” Ishna giggles, the noise high but pleasing to the ear. 

“Yes, but not too quickly. They want to persuade you to come with them first.” Again you nod though you’re getting worried you won’t remember all these contradictory behaviors. Ishna finishes combing your hair admiring your host’s locks. “Don’t worry y/n, there is little you can do to _not_ attract a human’s interest.” 

Too soon for your still unsettled nerves, you two are in a craft that moves on the ground called cab on your way to a favorite place of Ishna’s at the moment. According to her the pickings are the best here. Perfect for a true first time meal. Once inside instead of mingling with the people on the dance floor, Ishna settles you two at the bar ordering a drink. You sip at the concoction put before you, a sugary liquid that disguises the intense sour kick. It makes your tongue feel odd. The glass isn’t even half empty before another is being given to you.

A confused look to the human doling out drinks makes him tilt his head at the young man two seats away. He sidles over at catching your gaze, a ready smile on his lips.

“I’ve been trying to figure it out, but are you two twins or sisters?” The young man questions, expectant brown eyes twinkling at you and Ishna. You can’t help but give him a pleased smile at that. Here Ishna had said humans were stupid but this one knew you two are related. Even if he is wrong about the twin part, but at least he is trying! 

Ishna however isn’t pleased rolling her eyes as if he is irritating her. 

“How long did that one take you?” She sneers. You give her a concerned look from the corner of your eye. What had happened to coming across as touchable? The man’s eyebrows raised as he blinks slowly twice as if he has gotten something in his eyes. The smile he turns on you is noticeably softer than what Ishna now receives. He leans his elbow on the bar resting his chin on the back of his hand.

“You’ve must be the nice sister after that one.” You smile waving a dismissive hand at Ishna. _Duh, she’s letting you have this pretty creature._

“She’s the grumpy sister.” You reply. A light tap on your ankle from Ishna’s foot reminds you to turn your front towards him to show interest. It’s a wonder such small details are needed to seem suitably interested. Again the man smiles and what a plush mouth he has. A charmer without a doubt, and with those brown eyes he knows how to use. 

“My name’s Brendon.” He introduces to which you smile offering your hand. It’s the one social nicety you have memorized. 

“y/n.” You answer liking the way his warm hand engulfs your own. At the sound of your name Brendon grins as if you’ve said something charming. Perhaps names are charming to humans? 

“A cute name for a pretty girl like yourself.” This much, you can tell, is meant to make you feel flattered. Despite the insincerity of it, you find his words pleasing. Your host’s emotions - now your own - are glad he finds you attractive. Of course, by no means were you ugly in your true form, but your kind doesn’t mate with words. It’s easy to see why humans would lay down for well said sentences of false sweetness. You reward him with a smile instead of a grin. Keeping your teeth normal is still a little too difficult to risk. However, Brendon seems pleased with your response.

Three drinks in and Brendon has started to noticeably invade your personal space. One foot is pressed against your ankle and again he’s captured your hand periodically stroking your knuckles. You find chuckling and looking through your lashes at him is the simplest way to encourage him. 

“I’m a singer in a band.” Brendon at one point declares his expectant attitude of that announcement impressing you making you laugh. 

“Oh yeah? What band is that, hm?” You tease playing with his fingers fanning them out with your own. A surprise to find that the enjoyment of touch is not just purely for him but yourself as well. Brendon smirks, clearly you’re in for a shock.

“Nothing big just Panic at the Disco.” You blink and in spite of yourself the host’s body has a visceral response to this information. The name clicks for its memories. 

“ _You’re Brendon Urie_?” This, more than anything you’ve done or said that night, seems to delight him the most. Brendon gives a nonchalant shrug as he threads his fingers with yours. 

“Yeah, but hey do you wanna dance?” You nod, mouth unexpectedly dry. You don’t trust yourself to remember how speak the human language. The remembered giddiness towards this man is infecting your objective. 

Up from the bar stool he leads you into the small crowd of writhing people. By chance you glimpse Ishna pressed up between two young people, a wild haired woman and a man with iron cinched to his brows and lower lip. Before you can follow her example, Brendon is whirling you about the dance floor. He’s less about grinding and more about showing off his moves. Of course, Brendon tries to steal kisses, but in his drunken state his open mouth advances are easy to duck and giggle at. 

Ishna is right in this respect. The more you fend him off the more Brendon’s interest is peaked. You dance until you're damp with perspiration, pink cheeked and laughing. How fun dancing with Brendon is! No wonder Ishna has chosen this way to get her meals. The luring is almost as much fun as the playacting. You don't have time tell him you’re ready to sit down before a slow number starts up on the speakers. It’s the perfect excuse for him to draw you up against him. Brendon is hot to the touch. The press of his firm chest against your breasts with your stomach and hips just as close is arousing.

This time there is no teasing when you press against Brendon and kiss him. You can feel him smile against your lips before he obliges to kiss back. It feels _good_ and you would be surprised if you weren’t preoccupied. Brendon’s hands snake down to your lower back. Each finger a point of warmth. Perhaps you’d burn up under his touch. The thought is exhilarating. Tingles spark up and down your spine when he strokes your back, hands pausing to squeeze your butt, your labia aching with a tightness that edges on hurt at the anticipation.

You haven’t had near enough when Brendon stops kissing you. 

He presses his lips to your ear instead and asks,

“Your place or mine?” 

Lust makes one stupid because you give him a blank look. The intricacies of human language are eluding your grasp right now. Your body is still buzzing, your thoughts only for his mouth again. He raises his eyebrows at your clueless expression. “Go around back?”

It’s that offer that kick starts your brain back online. You laugh and shake your head pretending to wave away something before your eyes. “Spaced off, my place.” You state. Brendon grins before kissing you again. A struggle to keep your head when he does that. 

His drunkenness becomes more obvious when he totters into other patrons upon trying to walk instead of dance. A blessing your true strength has not left you as you help Brendon out of the bar. Once in a cab Brendon is intent on kissing you again. This time you don’t mind the warm hand that settles on your knee inching upwards. Brendon’s touch makes you ache in anticipation. By the time cab reaches Ishna’s house you’re struggling to maintain your human form. He overwhelms you with his intensity but you can’t slip up yet. 

Inside you deposit him into a kitchen chair laughing as you evade his outstretched arms and grasping hands. 

“I’ll be right back, behave.” He gives a loud sigh his exasperation made insincere by the grin on his mouth and the way his eyes look you up and down. Off to the bathroom to compose yourself and a look at your phone shows a text from Ishna. 

_Good catch, y/n. I won’t be home tonight._

You smile as you brush your hair. Everything is going just as planned. What does surprise you upon returning to the kitchen is Brendon’s disappearance. The sound of a thump and a yelp directs you upstairs. The noise turns out to be Brendon on the floor pants around his right ankle. Asleep, face down butt in the air, his arms still stretched out to catch himself. You laugh at the pose. Clearly the alcohol has worked too well on him. 

No matter you can wait until morning. Up you heft him into your arms before tossing him onto the bed. Brendon groans and rolls onto his side. A small smile tugs at your mouth. Perhaps you will keep him around a while to age and gain flavor. It will be easy enough to keep him ensnared.

**Author's Note:**

> My lovely beta JJ is the one responsible for how nice and tidy it looks. You can find her under the name tsundanire on ao3! Also I found a program that's free with no ads called languagetools that is pretty kick ass with punctuation and grammar! Thank the lord for the internet. 
> 
> Also sorry hubby (if you care to read this) I didn't make this character a total Mary Sue. I tried my best to make her both as vague as possible but not quite a cringe worthy Mary Sue.


End file.
